


Home is Hell Hell is Home

by PeanutsButterjam



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Angst, Anxiety, Characters to be added later, Child Abuse, Crows, Humanstuck, Multi, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Selectively mute, adoptive families, bros in jail, dave and rose dont know each other, mom lalonde is best mom, poor Dave, relationships tagged as they appear, tags to be added later, the mayor and hal are birds, warning may or may not change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-29 08:52:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6368155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeanutsButterjam/pseuds/PeanutsButterjam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life was simple for the young Dave Strider. Have enough food, survive against Bro and keep the crows away from Bro. Simple right? It was, once Dave got the hang of it. Until, CPS was called. Bro was thrown into jail and Daves life was thrown upside down.  Instead of living with a guy who could start a strife at any given moment, he's surrounded by kind people who actually care about him. A.K.A The Lalondes. How bad could they be to Dave and his three crow friends? Probably as bad as Bro.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home is Hell Hell is Home

Your room, the safe house, somewhere safe where no one can hurt you, your safe haven . These are all different names you call your room, because that’s what it is to you. Somewhere where you are safe and not have that many worries. 

The Lalonde estate, that’s where you, Dave Strider, are currently residing. Why? Well for simple reasons really, Bro, your guardian was found out about what he does to you, well did now you guess. Apparently what he was doing wasn’t normal which surprises the shit out of you because that’s how it’s always been. The way you were found was well. You and Bro live, or lived in a really shitty apartment complex that you two were the only ones living there. You didn’t know this because Bro wouldn’t let you out of your shitty apartment other than to go one the roof, so you just assumed that there was other people, you just didn’t see them.

Anyway, one day a couple moved into the shitty apartment complex and heard you scream after a strife with Bro. Child services were called and you were taken away to family you didn’t even know you had. The Lalondes are that family, and you are currently in their ‘house’ which is really a fucking big ass mansion, and are sitting in your room on your bed.

It’s been what, a couple weeks since you first got here? More or less. Shits been hard, you never leave your room and when you do it’s late at night to get food. And that ‘food’ is really you just stoking up for when Bro leaves for weeks at a time, but you know you don’t have to worry about that, you know it’s a thing of the past but old habits die hard. Very, very fucking hard. So hard that Obama would shit his pants in public hard. It’s been two weeks and you’ve already gathered enough food to last a month, longer if you ration but this food isn’t made to be rationed because technically it already is rationed. Small enough that it won’t fill you, but enough that you eat something. Healthy or not.

Rose, your um, cousin, has been trying to talk to you since talking with your Aunt Roxy isn’t working. But you aren’t going to talk to her either. Honestly you have seriously fucking tried to, but the words won’t come out of your mouth hole and you just don’t want to fucking talk to these people. You don’t know them and you just want to go back home. Yes that shitty ass apartment where your Bro leaves disgusting smuppets fucking everywhere, that apartment where he would leave you for weeks, fucking _weeks_ at a time. But you don’t give a single ass shit about how ‘horrible’ your life was. It was normal, at least for you and you look up to Bro.  
He’s the fucking shit for fuck sakes 

But does anyone else think so? Nope. You're stuck with, with these..melons? Fuck. Whatever. They’re melons now, because all the melons are the same when it comes to how melony they are, and what happens when there’s a melon who's fucking different from all the other melons? They yell and fucking criticized the shit out of that melon because he grew up a different way than the fucking rest of them dang melons. So now the other melons are trying to make this different melon like the rest of them by talking about shit, and keeping them away from their family. Fuck, maybe even lie to the melon and say they are with family even though that melon knows damn well they don’t have family.

You need to stop comparing your situation to a fruit that does not in fact have this fucking problem.

But yeah, fuck your arm hurts. That's what made you scream like a little girl. Bro broke it and just,,fuck did it hurt like a mother fucking bitch. So now your arm's in a cast that's in a sling because broken arm, you gotta take care of that shit tenderly so the bone don't break more. The Mayor quietly squawks at you on your lap. Fuck is he cute, like the other two. You pet him gently with your unbroken arm, you still feel bad for making them sit in the back of the plane on the ride here. It was probably bumpy as hell and freaked the fucking bajesus out of them. 

Hal, being the fucking attention whore that he is, jumps onto the bed and tries to get in on the petting, making noises. Fucking Hal and always seeking your attention. You pet him because knowing him, he's not going to leave this alone till you do. There's a knock on the door that scares you, Sprite caws at the door loudly.

"Dave?" Rose opens the door and just stares at you for a moment, Sprite caws again, he's very impatient sometimes.

"Dinner is ready, I would appreciate it if you would join us this time. I know Mom would. She and I both have been patient with you but we have important matters to discuss." You just nod your head and Rose leaves. You sigh deeply and look at the Mayor who just cocks his head at you. What do they want to discuss? Shit, it could be about anything. Mouth better work this time, but you know it won't. You should go join them but you really don't want to, your stomach on the other hand growls in protest.

With another sigh you put the Mayor on the floor and head out to have diner, shits going to hit the fan you can feel it.

 

When you get into the kitchen, Rose is sitting at the table and your aunt is finishing with the last of the food. She looks at you and smiles really big.  
"Dave! You're joining us today! Good job Rose on getting him here, extra food for you! Or dessert, is that what you want dearie?" Before Rose can provide an answer Sprite hops beside you and caws announcing his presence, if they thought your crowbros weren't joining you they are sadly mistaken.

"Just sit down at the table with Rosie and I'll be over is a sec okay? And Dave?" you look at her "don't let your friends go on the table okay? Or near the food, we don't need to be spreading germs and getting people sick, alright?" Aunt Roxy says all sweetly, how could you say no to that? You just nod to let her know you won't, maybe if you listen nothing to bad will happen. It would be very hard to strife with a broken arm after all.

You sit down across from Rose and she just gives you an odd smile, like she's happy that you're here but also isn't. The Mayor hops beside you on the floor and looks up at you. You really hope he doesn't leave when his wings heal. Roxy comes over with the last of the food and sits down beside Rose. Hal chooses this moment to fly in and land on your head with a loud squawk. Goddamn it Hal why, you punish him with a light push on the beak. More so you're just telling him not to do that then punish him but whatever. You couldn't bring yourself to hurt these guys.

The Lalondes just stare at you for a moment and you return the gesture. They probably can't really tell with the shades but that's another thing you're not getting rid of. Rose breaks the silence with dishing herself up, and Roxy quickly follows suit.

"So, the important things. Right," Roxy clears her throat as she continues to put food on her plate. Is that something you should be doing too? Fuck you don't know, you've never actually ate at the dinner table before. The Mayor makes a distressed noise at you, you look down at him and he jumps a couple of times. You lean over to pick him up and put him on your lap when Roxy stops you halfway down to pick him up.

"You need to eat Davie, I'm sure your birdy friend can wait a little bit right?" so you should be putting food on your plate, fuck. You screwed up already Dave good fucking job. You pat the Mayors head as a sorry and start putting food on your plate, glancing at Roxy every so often to make sure you're not doing anything wrong. So far so good. Deeming you got enough, you stuff some of it in your mouth and holy fucking christ on a motherfucking cracker, this..this is _really_ fucking good. Holy shit. You don't think your mouth has ever tasted food this good, it's like the gods have come down and blessed this food that you are currently eating and was all like 'here Dave, have good fucking food for once in your goddamn life' because this food is fucking good. Better than anything you've had in your goddamn life, holy jesus. Quickly, you shove more in your mouth.

You're pretty sure that both the Lalondes noticed because Rose is smirking at you as she puts some in her mouth and Roxy is beaming at you. Stupid food for being so damn good, and fuck your stomach for being hungry. Except no because you want to just shove this food down your windpipe like a vacuum because have you mention how fucking _good_ this food _is_?

"You like it Dave?" Roxy asks, you nod your head until you put more food in the mouth that is still refusing to work.  
Roxy just smiles "Good. Glade my cooking satisfies the all cool, bird lovin' Strider" 

"Mom, what we were going to talk about?"

"Oh! Yes. Right," Roxy straightens in her seat "So, um Dave. It's totes okay that you want to spend time in your room and all that, I would too in a situation like this. But," her smile falters slightly "This is about the fact that you haven't said a single word to anyone." One of your crows squawks behind you loudly, then he proceeds to do so again and again. Finishing the food in your mouth, you turn around to the culprit who's still squawking like some kind of animal 

"Dude, shut up." You give him that look and he clamps up but scuttles closer and hops up and down slightly. The fucking dipshit, of fucking course he wants up. You push the chair beside you out and place him on it, hopefully that'll keep him quiet. You face forward to see Roxy with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape and Rose just staring at you. Fuck, right. Not only have you not talked to anyone, they also haven't heard you at all. A couple seconds pass and their eyes divert to beside you where you hear the slight flutter of a wing. You have got to be fucking kidding me. Over to your right, Sprite managed to jump on to the goddamn table. 

No, you are **not** getting in trouble because he wanted to see what was going on.  
"Fuck, Sprite. No, bad bird," you pick him up and put him back on the chair "stay on the chair." you push his head down to indicate that he has to stay put. When you look back up, their faces are the same but slightly more agape. Fuck, you really fucked up didn't you?

You try your best to ignore their stares and shove more food in your mouth, better right? Apparently not because now the Mayor is hopping slightly down beside you and is making quiet noises. You glance back down at him and look back between Roxy and the Mayor. Shit, of course he would feel left out because Hal's on your head and now Sprite's on the chair beside you. Goddamn it guilt, fuck. Fuuuuck. you really _really_ hope Roxy won't get mad at you. You pick the Mayor up and put him on your lap, patting his head a few times before stuffing more food in your mouth. Now you just really want to leave and not have this conversation anymore because fucking crows and getting you possibly in trouble.

Luckily Rose just goes back to eating, and with a shake of her head so does Roxy. Hopefully that's a good sign and not a bad one. Fuck, staying in your room is a good idea but it isn't because you won't know what will make Roxy snap. But staying in your room might prevent her from snapping all together, or it won't. Fuck. You're in a very tight fucking spot. Roxy just smiles at you. God, fuck, fuck, fuck. You totally did something wrong didn't you? Fuck, maybe bringing your crows was a bad idea. Bro didn't like them, why on the fucking planet did you think Roxy would too? Fuck you and your idiocy, you're definitely going to have to strife her now aren't you? Fuck, why can't the gods just be nice and let you eat a good meal without having to worry about this shit.

"Good to know that you can talk Davie! Now...why won't you talk to anyone else? Did we do something wrong or another that you hate us? Oh no! What if we did do something wrong! Rose, did we do something wrong to..fuck. Was it the plane ride Dave? Is that why you won't talk or or..or.." Roxy looks down at her food in thought, panic on her face. Okay maybe you didn't do anything wrong. Fucking mixed signals and their mixing, that shit is mixing crazy shit that you don't want to deal with because mixed signals mix you the fuck up.

"Mother, I think it would have to be the fact that Dave has not had contact with anyone as far as we know, to anyone but his guardian. So maybe he just isn't comfortable in this new environment yet and needs some time?" that was more of a question but whatever you nod slightly at what Rose has to say because your mouth is still on no talkie mode until further notice. You're honestly surprised that you were able to talk to Sprite at all in front of them, but you guess you're just comfortable with them that it just came naturally. Whatever, fuck your mouth and its inability to form words when you need it to.

"I think Dave agrees with you. Honey, what can we do to make you comfortable faster? It..can't involve going back to Texas though...that place has the fu-reaking willies and bad memories. And we need to make good, new ones right?" Comfortable faster? Fuck, uh. You have honestly have no idea because you have no idea what's making your mouth all hush hush in the first god fucking place. Maybe some ghost is preventing it from forming words and the only way to make it go away is with voodoo that you have to go to India to learn to do, just so you can speak again. Fuck yeah your on that train to India. India's cool with all its messed up gods and shit. And besides, what other reason would you have to go there other than to learn voodoo to speak again? Maybe Roxy would even let you do that since she seems to want you to talk again so badly.

Okay, little off topic. You shrug your shoulders because you honestly have no idea other than voodoo magic to get rid of this ghost haunting your vocal cords. What kind of ghost haunts vocal cords? What kind of scaring does that do to a family? Probably scare the poor mother to death because Jimmy can't talk anymore, and is unable to tell people important shit about him and his problems that he may or may not have. Including the ghost haunting his goddamn vocal cords.

Roxy's shoulders drop as she puts food in her own mouth, eyes lost in thought. For some reason you feel kind of terrible and you don't know why. Looking at your own plate, everything's basically gone except..what the ever loving jesus is that! There's some weird, small looking lettuce ball shit things on your plate. What the fuck are these? You pick one up with your fork and put it in your mouth and just..no. Fuck no. Ew, get it out. Someone call the ambulance because your mouth needs some medical fucking care right now. Ew fucking gross ass small lettuce ball. No, you are not putting another of this revolting thing in your mouth. No.

Good thing your stomach wasn't hungry anyways, because you are not eating that piece of shit for the dear thing that is your life. As sneakily as you can, you put one on your fork and give it to the Mayor, hiding your hand under the table. But he decides to betray you by eating fucking loudly! Rose was watching anyway, she is across the fucking table from you, so you weren't really hiding it in the first place from here. Roxy just looks up from her thoughts. Why, why you, why can't these guys just be on your side for once? Sprite and Hal are now cawing because you shared your goddamn food. Idiot! Idiot Idiot! You know your crow pals, of fucking course they want in on this shit if you're going to fucking share! You've never hated yourself so much as you do right now. Hal decides to be more of a goddamn asshole and jumps off of your head and on to your plate to eat the disgusting leaf balls. Sprite also joins him, the Mayor on the other hand is making an attempt but you're not letting him.

Fuck you and your brilliant ideas. You stand up and gently toss Sprite and Hal off of the table and head to your room, at least they're smart enough to follow you. Roxy is going to be so done with your shit, more so your birds. You wouldn't be surprised if she threw them outside and left them to die. You, of course, would try your absolute hardest to not let that happen. But tonight you were such a fucking idiot! Like goddamn your brain is just not on your side today is it?

You want to punish them somehow but it wasn't their fault, it was yours. You're the one who decided to feed the Mayor, and the other two acted like how they always do. Fuck, if they didn't have a reason to be mad at you she sure as hell does now. Closing your door, you stuff your hand into the bag of bird feed Roxy bought you for your birds and sprinkle it in around in a corner. Wiping the last of the bird seed off of your hands, you flop onto your bed with a huff, and regret it because, cast. Have you told yourself you were an idiot tonight? Well you were, and a very big one at that. Welp, may as well make some goodbye calls before you go and get murdered by Roxy Lalonde. Pulling your phone out, because your room is a complete fucking mess and not everything is out of its box yet so no computer, you check who's online. Well John's not on, but Jade is. Guess only one goodbye call will be happening tonight, hopefully she'll pass on the message to John after you're dead

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering  gardenGnostic [GG] at ~ 18:17

TG: yo harley you there? 

GG: hi dave! yes im here :D 

GG: whats up? 

TG: aw you know same old same old 

TG: except this time im at my cousins house 

GG: your cousin? 

TG: yeah my cousin that i didnt even know i fucking had 

TG: like shit man, couldnt you have told me i had a cousin? apparently not 

GG: aw that sucks D: but im happy you got to meet them!! that must be fun, right? 

TG: yeah its pretty fun i guess 

TG: im pretty sure i pissed my aunt off tho, so now im just waiting for her to come and kill me 

GG: oh no!!! dave what happened! are you okay? 

TG: yeah im okay now 

TG: cant say i will in the next few mins 

TG: gonna get my ass handed to me by my aunt 

GG: no dave!! you cant get your ass handed to you! 

GG: ill miss you if you die! you cant die!!!! 

GG: youre not aloud to die! 

TG: dont worry im not going to die 

TG: yet, least without some sort of fight 

GG: dave dont think like that!! D: what could you have done that would make your aunt want to kill you! 

GG: nothing i tell you! if she loves you she would never kill her nephew i promise 

GG: and besides you just met her so theres nothing to worry about! :D 

TG: see jade thats the problem i just met her 

TG: so i have no idea what pisses her off or not and im pretty damn sure i pissed her off enough to want to kill me 

GG: im sure if you just talked to her everything will be alright! 

GG: you might convince her not to kill you!! and if youre sorry enough im sure she wont! :D 

GG: but.... 

GG: how come youve never known you had this aunt and cousin? hasnt your bro ever told you about them? 

TG: bro has told me jack shit about any family i have so 

TG: im just chillin in my room. waitin to die 

GG: dave noo!! shes not going to kill you no matter what you did! D: 

TG: jade you werent there. how would you know that she isnt or not? 

TG: you dont thats the thing 

GG: i would if you would tell me! 

GG: what happened dave? why are you convinced shes going to kill you?

There's a knock at your door. Shit here comes your death, the death bells are ringing at the church of death. They're chanting your name, good bye Dave. See you in the afterlife in hell.

TG: shit shes here 

TG: bye jade see ya in the afterlife 

TG: say bye to john for me 

GG: good luck dave!! i know you wont die but good luck!!! 

GG: if it does get violent kick her ass! but not to hard, your bro might get mad at you for hurting your aunt

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering  gardenGnostic [GG] at ~ 18:40 

You quickly tuck your phone under your pillow and slowly manage to sit up with only one arm as Roxy opens the door. Sprite squawks a couple of times as she opens the door and enters your room. Your arm felt kind of numb from the way you were laying and typing but for now you'd ignore it and wait for death. Fuck, CPS took all your swords away. Literally all of them. How the fuck are you going to defend yourself? You are so dead, so fucking dead. Hal flies onto a stack of boxes and eyes Roxy, when you're dead what are these guys going to do?

"Dave? You okay sweetie?" your breath is coming in shallow gasps, fuck how're you going to even survive a hit without a weapon? And what about Hal, Sprite and the Mayor? What the fuck are they going to do when you're dead? Fuck, you think you're hyperventilating or some shit because Roxy walks over to you quickly. Or she's going to just end it quickly. There's some sort of loud noise but you couldn't make it out, and your breath is to shallow. Christ you can't move and Roxy's beside you now with a look of..worry? Why the fuck is she worried about you? Shouldn't she be pissed at you or something? Mixed signals fucking you over much, she's probably just acting or some shit. Hal's on her head now, pecking her head. Sweet now you can possibly get away, except fuck.

Your legs aren't moving.

You actually can't move jack shit of your body, and your just gasping for breath as you stare wide eyed at Roxy whose batting Hal away from her head. Okay, in this current situation your buds are probably only making things worse. You would do that whistle that tells them to back off but your lungs say otherwise. Breath is what they're currently yelling at you, which is what you are in fact doing, just not the way you would enjoy.

After what you're sure is at least a few minutes, you've finally calmed down enough to do that whistle that tells your crowbros to stop. Roxy looks more than happy about that. Fuck you lungs and getting you more in trouble. From this angle, her ankles look kinda beat up from Sprite and the Mayor, her hair isn't exactly as nice either. 

You are so fucking dead.

While your crows stand by and stare at Roxy like she's a shiny new toy, Roxy looks at you and smiles slightly. You do not like that smile.

"You ok Davie? You looked like you were having some problems breathing." worry crowds her face. Roxy Lalonde is one of the best actresses you have ever fucking seen.

You just stay silent, mainly because your voice still won't cooperate but also because you're in a ton of shit. Your breath is still shaky but there isn't much you can do about that. You just stare at Roxy behind the your shades as you try to calm your breathing, your face however is as stoic as ever, apart from you trying to calm the fuck down. You two just stare for a few minutes, and when you've finally calmed down enough Roxy starts talking again.

"Thanks for getting your birds off me, thought for sure I was a goner. But still, are you okay? Between the that whole scene at the dinner table with you just up and leaving, and just a few minutes ago where I found you breathing a lung out." she places her hands on her lap as she turns to face you better. Roxy waits patiently for your answer, but one never comes. You are to busy trying to figure out why Roxy is here, and being ready to bolt if you need to. Striders never run but you may not have a choice this time, with you being unarmed (heh get it? Cast) and you having a broken arm.

"I'll take that silence as a possible 'mahbae',"she giggled, you're not sure what the fuck she was trying to say but it sure didn't sound like maybe.

"Soooo, about that you getting comfortable faster thing. I think I've come up with a good idea." she smiles a tells you that unpacking your shit was her brilliant idea. You get to put what ever, where ever in your room and decorate as you want and no one is aloud to object, in anyway, shape, or form. You were kinda hoping that that was going to happen anyways, because you got to in your apartment but whatever makes her happy.

You're just glad she isn't trying to rip your balls off for pissing her off, Roxy doesn't even seem upset! Like what the actual fuck. 

You know for sure that you did in fact piss her off that she wanted to murder your ass, but here she is being all happy and junk as if nothing happened at dinner. You are very much confused and want Roxy to fucking stop whatever antics shes got motherfucking planned.

"Does that sound like a good idea to you? And since this room is bigger then your last one I was thinking we could go to like, the pet store or some shit and buy your birdy fronds somethings. Hmm?" you nod, of course you like the idea, who the fuck wouldn't? But you can't shake the feeling that there's more to this, something bad, like really fucking bad. The only question is how and when? Before you can dwell on the question much longer Roxy kisses your forehead and leaves, saying goodnight as she goes, and that you'll start working on your room tomorrow.

You stare as she goes, what the actual _fuck_ is she trying to pull here, there has got to be something. It's just not sitting right with you in the motherfucking slightest. Fairy godmother slightest. Now you wish you had fairy godmother to make everything make fucking sense again. Sadly fairy godmothers do not in fact exist, so you're stuck with not knowing the answers to your questions. Why does Disney make life look so fucking easy. No matter how bad life may fucking seem, someone is going to show up out of the fucking dark pit that is there home that they decided to crawl out of this fucking instant, to help this poor motherfucking soul with there motherfucking problems.

Fuck Disney and their movies that make things look so fucking easy. Life is not easy, life is a dick that likes to kick you around the soccer field until it decides it's done with you, and leaves you to rot in your grave. You sigh, you just really really want to get out of here. Hal flies onto your lap and you pet him gently, Sprite and the Mayor attempt to get up as well. Sprite lands on your foot so you lift your leg up for him to hop onto the bed. You do the same with he Mayor once he finally gets on your leg. You really wish you could hug these guys sometimes, they're really the only family you have left. Well who you consider family. 

You're not sure how long you four stay like that, but you get tired and turn the lights off. You take your pants off since it's a pain in the ass to take your shirt off with the cast, and crawl into bed. The Mayor, Sprite and Hal join you in bed, and before long you're fast asleep.

The next couple of weeks are a blur, Rose has to go back to school and Roxy has work so you're alone again the majority of the time. Rose also gave you her pesterchum if you ever so happen to need her. You find it very strange but whatever, Roxy has also told you practically everyday that if you ever need anything to either call her or message Rose and she'll give her a call. You don't do that of course because why would you need to? Roxy probably wouldn't even show or pick up but you haven't had a reason to do that. Yet.

You've started to unpack your room, it still looks like a tornado hit and managed to fuck up only your room instead of the whole town, and bringing you to see the wizard of Oz. You still haven't seen a yellow brick road. It'll take more time but your room will get there. Hal likes all the new places to fly on, Sprite and the Mayor think other wise since they can't fly and are stuck on the ground. Those three have also caused you more trouble, but Roxy says she doesn't mind. You've been in the clear so far with her.

Rose has been fucking nosy as a mutt, putting her nose where it doesn't belong. Roxy hasn't really told her what happened with Bro and you still haven't talked, with your mouth that is. Pesterchum works just fine, which you find oddly strange but at least you've found some way you can actually speak. But Rose keeps asking what happened and you keep telling her you don't know. Because you honestly don't, wasn't strifing normal? Roxy leaves for work, well so did Bro, so that's normal. The only difference is Roxy comes back the same day while Bro...didn't.

Sigh, everything is such a fucking mess. Including your room. Moving stuff around is very fucking hard with a broken arm. You really want out of this stupid cast, it's making things to difficult to handle. Roxy found your stash of food, this, has never happened before. She looked at your but didn't question it. She did however put everything back. So until your room is completely done, there has been no hoarding of food. 

That's a lie, you have been taking things, just not as much. Instead of having enough for a month, you have enough for a week. So it's significantly smaller but still there and it puts you at ease. Roxy has yet to find the new stash.

All you can hope now, is that things just get easier.

~ ~ ~

You're name is Roxy Lalonde, and all you want to do is punch your stupid brother in the fucking face. Or shoot him, that would work too.

You are so very, very. Fucking. _Pissed_ at him. You were just going about your day when you get a phone call from Child Protective Services. Child Protective Services! You were on the frits that you did something wrong with Rose, and someone managed to find out or some shit, and they were calling you about it! You were very scared that you were going got lose your baby girl. 

But now you're just pissed. 

Pissed at that idiot boy you call your brother. You haven't heard from him in _years_ and you get a call out of nowhere that hes abused Dave. You didn't even know he had a kid until the phone call. You flew down there as soon as you could, but it wasn't soon enough to beat something into Dirk. When you got down there he was already in jail, and you deemed he didn't deserve a visit from you.

From what you've seen of Dave, he's a very sweet boy and you are **so** glad nothing of what Dirk did to him has not made him a terrible person. And if there is damage, you can fix it. Hopefully, definitely in time. The fact that Dave takes care of three crows is the most adorbs thing you have seen. One of them has two broken wings,another is missing a wing entirely and the third is just banged up. Dave is so fucking sweet and you already love him.

The part that concerns you the most is that Dave, hasn't said a word. You thought that maybe he was just upset. He is going through the biggest damn change in his life, but should that make him mute? You're not entirely sure. After packing all of Daves stuff, excluding his swords. CSP would not allow that, and all the paper work being done, you _finally_ get back. As much as you were happy and pissed of the whole situation, you hated having to leave Rose all alone. Course she's a big girl and can take care of herself, you still can't help but worry. That's what mothers do after all.

Another thing you hate was having to put Daves birds in the back of the plane, but there was nothing you could of done. Dave fought tooth and nail to keep those birds, from what you were told. You weren't there to see. So when Dave continued to be quiet after the whole move, you thought maybe it was that. Poor Davie, you just want to hug him all day until he feels better. But being that adult that you are, you know its not that simple.

Rose kept pestering you as to why you had to leave, who was it you were bringing back and why. You don't tell her of course, one reason being you do not want to think about the bastard who caused this, but also because the wound is still fresh and you don't need her pushing Dave in the wrong direction. 

You'll tell her when you're ready. She, you meant when she's ready..

Who're you kidding, it's you who has to be ready. You noticed it shortly after you and Dave got back. Rose kept picking at you and complaining about the birds, which you told her to try and ignore because they come with the Dave package. But you went to get something in the cupboard, and, it was gone. You thought for sure you just bought it, but it was gone. You noticed that frequently, food missing and Dave not coming to eat with you. You really hated it, and it's hard for you not to break down a little when speaking of the subject that is Dave Strider. Dave was so skinny, and cut, and bruised. It wasn't that he was just lean, he was **skinny**. You really hate Texas now and never want to go back. You don't even know if Dave got a proper education! Dirk had a job that had him weeks out of the house, and he didn't come home right away. Making pit stops and staying at hotels for fun.

You're glad you got so see his credit card records. When you got home and had time, you took the liberty of hacking into his bank account and stealing just about all of his money. Just about, you're not that mean. You might of also done it in a fit of rage, but who cares! You don't. You want to send Dave to school and have conversations with him, and make him forget about all the iky stuff that's happened in his life. But you can't. You can't send him anywhere until he starts speaking, and even then he may not be able to. You put Rose on him to see if maybe she could break him into speaking, but so far there wasn't any hope. 

Well of course there's hope, there's always hope! it just didn't look like he was willing to speak to Rose either.

Blargh! You just want to show him how awesome life can be, but he just stays cooped up in his room. You bought the biggest and best birdseed bag you could find, to show you do care about his birds. But.

Dave seems kinda nervous around you. It was hard to spot, behind those shades of his, and his stoic face. But there was the very small, very odd fidget once in awhile. Like he didn't want to be here but would if he had to. God, are you _that_ horrible? Maybe Dirk was ruined him in some way.

Fuck you Dirk, fuck you and your fucked up ways of raising a goddamn child. And a good one to boot! 

After a couple of weeks and not much progress, you and Rose decided that you two would try and talk to Dave over dinner about how to possibly get him to talk again. You were getting worried that he might of never left his room. You want him to leave, and socialize and make friends with new people. But he can't really do that in his room. When Rose actually managed to get Dave to come join, you were more than pleased.

His crows joining was totally fine with you as long as they stayed away from the food. You've been trying very hard to be open and okay with Daves ways, but it's hard sometimes. You want to slap him over the head and get him to wake up from his muteness, but you can't do that. You would **never** do that!

The dinner idea went horribly. Sorta. You got a brilliant idea on how to get Dave more comfortable, but he left early and abruptly with his birds. You didn't notice what he did that made his birdy friends go all cray cray, but it would of been fine if he got them off the table. He did do that but left afterwords. Rose informed you he was feeding the one on his lap the brussle sprouts he took. 'Aw' is what you thought, before you remembered how the others acted. 

But they're birds, what else should you expect? Dave has them trained pretty well anyways, for crows. But the most eerie part was when Dave actually spoke! It might of been to his birds, but it was still words, coming out of _his mouth!_ That made you very happy, but more confused as to why we wouldn't talk to you, or Rose.

What made the night even worse was when you went to tell Dave you brilliant fucking plan, and he started hyperventilating. Fuck, you pushed him to far didn't you? Making the best decision you could, you left as soon as you were done telling him your brilliant plan. You have a strong feeling it should help.

Shortly after starting his room, you of course volunteered to help since he can't really do anything with that broken arm, you found something strange.  
Strange as in, you found where all that missing food had gone. You wanted to question Dave about it and ask why he's holding on to food when he could just go into the kitchen anytime he wants. But.That's just, something you can't do either. It was probably something he did back in Texas, when **Dirk** would leave him for fucking weeks or some shit.

It's concluded, you can't think of that son of a bitch without wanting to punch his fucking face off. Maybe in a few years you'll be able to, but as of right now, it's to soon.

The next day you noticed some of the food you took from Daves room was taken again. Not as much but it's noticeable, if it was Dave, you haven't seen or found it in his room, and if you do, you'll probably just leave it there this time. Some people like their midnight snacks.

 

This week has been absolutely terrible. Between work, Rose and Dave, and his birds, the change is just to much. To much to fast, there's only so much change a person can handle so quickly. Rose finally found a way to talk with Dave and you are toootes happy about that. Hopefully Rose will be a good girl and won't poke around to much.

But tonight you need a break.

You've been trying your best to stay strong and not let these things get to you, but you tonight you need to just, let it out. You promised yourself you'd keep drinking to a minimum. One martini every night, but not tonight, you're going to 'treat' yourself. Before you know it, you're a pile of mess and tears. You have no idea how much you've drank but it sure is hell of a lot. The part that makes this even worse is, in your pile of misery and tears.

Dave found you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ello people of the internet! Welcome to Home is Hell Hell is Home. I do hope that you enjoy it, it's my first fanfic on here so I'm still nervous with the whole thing.  
> I also apologize if i got Jades personality wrong, i asked a friend and they said it was good. But still, sorry if its not.  
> So! Here's an AU where Dave has pet crows, i thing it's honestly quite interesting. Considering it's a friend of mine who came up with this AU. This was also originally going to be a one shot i did on word in exchange that they would actually write the story. Well things happen, so here i am writing the story instead of a one shot.  
> Please let me know what you think and if you see any spelling or grammar errors.
> 
> Also because of school, i have no idea when this will update but it will at some point. I've started chapter 2 so expect it soon??ish?? I do hope you enjoy what i have to offer.
> 
>  
> 
> Note: Pesterchums are a pain!


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